You Have Big, Hairy, Time-Wasting, Money-Sucking, Good-For-Nothing And Downright Intimidating Problems…

And you’d love it if I waltzed right up to you, Grabbed you by the shoulder, looked you dead-in-the-eye and confidently said…

That’s why you’re here. Right?

I thought so.

You see, it’s not that I’m a mind reader — I just don’t accept new clients all too often, and so I don’t advertise this page. Anywhere.

That means you likely didn’t just trip and fall over some random link and onto my website today.

Nope.

You’re here because myself, or someone we both know and trust sent you to me for help. (directly, or via social media)

Most importantly — you want to know HOW I can help, to see if I’m worth the premium!

Sound about right?

Yes. Great!

Come with me… Our time is valuable, so I’ll keep this short.

“Wait! Taylor, I already KNOW you can help me… I only came here to hurl my wallet at you as hard as I can!”

Ah, I see someone is already crystal-clear on what I do! Good!

If you’re the one who just said that, AND you’re my ideal client… you can stop reading and commence throwing said wallet at me here (but warm up your arm first!).

Otherwise, let’s continue. Shall we.

As we discussed earlier, you’re dealing with some big, hairy… well, you know — problems.

So, let’s play therapist and talk about your problems in more detail.

Problem #1 #0 – Hairy Problems

Unfortunately, I don’t handle these. But I do know of a great place to start!

Ok, kidding aside…

Problem #1 – You Suck At Copywriting, Or You Want It Done For You

If you’d rather swim in a shark tank with a bloody seal carcass tied to your back than write and split-test Facebook ads or landing pages — you’ve definitely come to the write guy (see what I did there?).

Here’s a sexy checklist of things I do, since we both love checklists so much (right?).

Knowing your audience better than a mother knows her own child is one thing…

But, getting your audience to behave precisely the way you want them to, using mere words, is entirely another (I have a 7-year old — trust me, I get it)

Fortunately for you, that’s where I come in!

I prefer to help you get better at wielding the mighty pen yourself, but I can also wield it for you if you’d like!

Problem #2 – You Suck At Content, Or You Want It Done For You

Are your blog posts drier than the heels of mammy’s old wrinkled calloused feet?

Would your audience rather watch a Spanish novella with the subtitles off, than cringe their way through one of your videos?

(If you know this for sure, good on you for knowing your audience!)

Can you guess what’s coming next?

A checklist of content that Taylor absolutely CRUSHES.

Wow – good answer! I feel like you and me — we understand each other.

I’ve found that most clients hate writing, and would rather gouge their eyes out with the pen, than actually press it on [digital] paper.

I can help. Or just hand me the damn pen and I’ll do it! (The writing part… not the gouging!)

Problem #3 – You’re Not Sure What To Do Next!

You know that girl in every horror movie? Taylor, you mean the girl who…..

Yep, that one!

The dumb-as-rocks teenage girl who just can’t (even) stop making utterly stupid decisions (usually about which way to run or how quickly).

Until finally, the evil ghost or zombie or vampire or clown (or ghost of an undead-blood-sucking clown, if you prefer) gets her ass good and turns her into a puddle of guts and blood… for your viewing pleasure, of course.

(What movie are we watching again?)

Well.. that’s NOT you.

Unlike our clueless teenage friend above, you pride yourself on making good decisions.

You understand where to run next, and how quickly, so you can achieve your goals. (And escape from axe murderers!)

You’re a survivor. 

But here’s the problem…

Sometimes… SOMETIMES… uncertainty gets the best of you.

You wake up one morning in a sudden fog, and aren’t sure which path to take, or where it may lead.

You’re suddenly terrified of what might be lurking around each corner, waiting to pounce on you. And you’re even more frightened that it might be nothing at all — just a big fat waste of time.

This unreasonable fear paralyzes you from the neck up — like your brain is suddenly suspended in a jar full of thick molasses — and it prevents you from taking the next step (or sometimes the first!).

You’ve lived a good portion of your life in this fog of uncertainty, just like I have.

We all have.

And you’ve always stumbled through it, one way or another… through sheer grit, determination — or even failure. [Gasp!]

But listen up! There’s a better way.

Of course, not just anyone’s eyeballs will work.

The more tuned in someone is to your world and the fog that you’re in, the more confident you’ll be in the paths they will illuminate for you.

And, of course, the more valuable their eyeballs become to you.

Now, since you’re here to evaluate me…

Here’s a partial list of where MY eyeballs may be of particular value to you:

Phew! Our last checklist. Makes you kinda sad doesn’t it?

I’m just glad we’re done talking about eyeballs… blechkt.

OK, let’s finish up here.

I’m assuming since you made it this far, that I accurately described you somewhere above and you’d now like my help. Great!

There’s ONE catch though!

Before you go booking a call with me, we have to make sure that you’re my IDEAL client.

Pay attention! You MUST qualify as an ideal client first!

Otherwise, I’ll be cancelling our session and keeping your money for not using your [censored anatomy]balls to read this!

Since most of my clients are referrals, here’s what I tell my friends who want to send people my way:

If this isn’t you, please buzz off. I’m dead serious.

I’m not here to make friends — I have plenty of those…
I’m here to help make you money, and I simply can’t do it if you suck.

…

If you’re still here, you likely dont suck — and im excited to work with you!

Let’s get this party started!

After payment is received, I’ll reach out to you within 24 hours to schedule our strategy session.